In Short...

Hello friends/friends of friends,

For anyone interested, here’s my background:

‘Race’: I am ‘racially’ (Sian, this word I use for lack of any better one) 1/2 Japanese, 1/4th German, and 1/16th Irish, Scottish, French, and English.

'Nationality’: I am American. Both my grandparents fought in WWII for America, so there was certainly a level of patriotism in my upbringing- especially my Japanese-American Grandpa. That side of the family was sent to internment camps (in fact, my Great Grandma even died there due to inadequate medical facilities). Interestingly, the family response was this: we left Japan to be American, and right now things suck, but we’re going to prove ourselves to be loyal. So began a wave of expedited assimilation.

‘What I call myself’: The internment caused my family to affirm the distinction between ‘race’ and ‘nationality’. Thus, I am Japanese-American/ German-American/ Irish-American/ etc. I once wore a Japanese flag pin before realizing this crucial distinction, which really offended my Japanese-American Grandfather. He fought so hard so that we could be American and enjoy the things that came with it (and inherit the ability to fix its problems; Clinton quote- “There is nothing wrong with America that can’t be fixed by what’s right with America”).

Culture (1): I pretty much defaulted to not caring about culture until 9^th grade, which meant I adopted the mainstream culture, which meant I was White (and there’s no problem with that). At some point, my old man picked up the bagpipes (as he’s ‘racially’ half ‘Celtic’ and half German) and began playing with an Irish pipe band. My sister and I both joined the band playing drums and became this weird breed of half-Japanese Irish-Americans. I certainly felt more Irish-American than anything because of this upbringing. Nobody thought my sister and I were of Irish descent, but who cares; we knew all the drinking songs and had the whole regalia (kilt and all)

Culture (2): I had to ‘pretend’ to be Japanese-American in order to get a college scholarship (my being Japanese-American was simply a matter of fact; not experience). This is basically because I’d never really known any ‘others’ beyond my cousins (who are all ‘Hapa’; or ‘half’), but then the organization sends me to this conference in Hawai’i and I see hundreds of people who look like ‘my people’ (Hapas); the ones I’d never really known about. I also realized that we had similar family immigrant stories, the internment experiences, the post-war assimilations (Japanese-Americans are perhaps the fastest ‘out-marriage’ groups in America- some 30%+), and the fact that once our ancestors left Japan, both they and their still-in-Japan counterparts diverged. Any words or customs that came to us kids are now antique and basically deleted from contemporary Japanese speech. It means something very different to be Japanese-American than it means to be Japanese.

‘Caught in Between’: I don’t feel that I’m caught in between, at least, not in a negative way. Clearly, I’ve defined myself as part of many ‘in-between’ sub-groups (Irish-Japanese-American, etc.). In fact, I wish I was more ‘caught in between’ cultures. Last year, there was an event called ‘Souk’ which celebrated the culture of the Middle East (minus religion and politics) and it was one of the most beautiful events at school. I decided that I wished that I was like 1/8th of eight distinctly different cultures so when I celebrated another culture, I could feel that I had ancestral claims to it. My reasoning was that if you had one ancestor from somewhere else, you actually had thousands of ancestors from there who lived, experienced, and shaped those cultures.

In the end, all the categories that exist are dynamic experiences that inevitably change. Hell, half of the practices of a ‘people’ are the result of some previous arbitrary decision by some random person. So, it’s all a choice and the choice… IS YOURS! (Captain Planet/American Consumerism manifested in Eco-Conscious kids show reference)

Brigcim

P.S. It's never really pointed out, but 'white' means hugely mixed; my Dad is really mixed: English, Irish, Scottish, French, German